How Do You Feel?
Probably the worst question in the world…or is it?
It's probing and intrusive and commonly people don't really want to know unless the answer is positive. Those who choose to answer in a negative context will often be left wishing they had just said, "I'm ok thanks". Gradually over time you find yourself saying your fine when quite clearly you're not.
Why is that so? What is it about discussing how we feel, that makes everyone so uncomfortable? I'm not apportioning blame on anyone, we all do it, even if we don't intend to. Is it a "british thing" or is it the same in every culture? I say this because my brother used to have a friend who's parents always asked him what his bowel habits were like as it was their culture to do so. Of course he found this pretty weird at first but clearly it is similar to asking "how do you feel" and is similarly intrusive to people unfamiliar with the culture.
What is it that makes us not want to answer the question? Is it embarassment, fear of rejection or is it just too complicated sometimes?
We are all guilty of editing our lives to give the impression of the happy marriage, the brightest child, the best car or the perfect body etc, but why? No one has a perfect life, we all face struggles that we wish we didn't have, and we are all going through the same things, only we choose to do it alone!
Why not share our experiences, listen to others and take time to fully answer the question? Surely it's got to be better than feeding the vicious circle of false perspectives and warped ideology.
So, I challenge you all to ask one person you know how they actually feel and LISTEN to what they say. You may be surprised by the response you get. Maybe that person will feel less alone. Maybe if we were all a little more honest and give a little more of our time we would all feel much less alone x
P.S. I'm feeling hopeful xxxx
It's probing and intrusive and commonly people don't really want to know unless the answer is positive. Those who choose to answer in a negative context will often be left wishing they had just said, "I'm ok thanks". Gradually over time you find yourself saying your fine when quite clearly you're not.
Why is that so? What is it about discussing how we feel, that makes everyone so uncomfortable? I'm not apportioning blame on anyone, we all do it, even if we don't intend to. Is it a "british thing" or is it the same in every culture? I say this because my brother used to have a friend who's parents always asked him what his bowel habits were like as it was their culture to do so. Of course he found this pretty weird at first but clearly it is similar to asking "how do you feel" and is similarly intrusive to people unfamiliar with the culture.
What is it that makes us not want to answer the question? Is it embarassment, fear of rejection or is it just too complicated sometimes?
We are all guilty of editing our lives to give the impression of the happy marriage, the brightest child, the best car or the perfect body etc, but why? No one has a perfect life, we all face struggles that we wish we didn't have, and we are all going through the same things, only we choose to do it alone!
Why not share our experiences, listen to others and take time to fully answer the question? Surely it's got to be better than feeding the vicious circle of false perspectives and warped ideology.
So, I challenge you all to ask one person you know how they actually feel and LISTEN to what they say. You may be surprised by the response you get. Maybe that person will feel less alone. Maybe if we were all a little more honest and give a little more of our time we would all feel much less alone x
P.S. I'm feeling hopeful xxxx
i only want the truth with truth we can console each other, with truth we can go forward together.The burden of life through frustration is shared, a shoulder to cry on heals bad thoughts .when pain takes over your body Tomorrow is a new day to help another person get through the horrors of this illness and helps you try to forget yours. You know that i think you you are the bravest ,strongest loveable person and you are the perfect person to do the job you are doing. xxx
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